Recovery Temp Hiatus
by BluJeza
Summary: She thought she lost everything. She thought she was beyond healing. When her father sends her to her cousin in Forks, she knows it won't help. But then everything changes, because she meets him and she starts to heal. Jake/OC NM- AU beyond HIATUS
1. Prologue

**Story Title:** Pending, but right now "Recovery"

**Author Name:** BluJeza

**Summary:** She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

**Pairing(s):** Jake/OC, Bella/Edward, all other Canon pairings

**Time:** New Moon - AUish, around the time Bella starts to get close to Jake.

**Warnings:** A lot of AU, probably a bit of character OOC because I'm new at this, and cussing and a bit of harsh flashbacks, PTSD, depression... If this offends you, turn back.

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. If I did, Jacob Black would be mine and so would Paul. Renesmee would SO not exist, and Bella would die a horrible and painful death because she is a clingy, whiny little thing. Seth would also be my Teddy Bear because he is just that cute.

**A/N:** Okay, so I wrote fanfiction back in the day... when I was like 14, so... I'm sorry if this is bad. I could use all the constructive criticism I can get. And I would very much appreciate it. Also, my updates will probably be irregular in the beginning. This fic is not going to be that long, at least I hope not. It's my first project after all. Andrea has major issues to work out though, so we'll see. I am a full time Equestrian College student so my extra-curricular activities take my time up quite a bit. I will TRY and update once a week, but no promises. Reviews help major though. Makes me feel good. :) I like to know I'm appreciated afterall. Anyways, this chapter is very short but it is a look into Andy's head in the beginning and the set up for everything else. You'll find out a lot more once the first chapter gets up. Why are you still reading this? Go! Shoo! Read the dang prologue and let me know your thoughts on it!

**A/N 2:** I could use a Beta reader probably...

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Sometimes, when everything was quiet and Dad had already gone to his room after checking on me, I would sit up in the bed and look out the window. I would get lost in my never-ending circle of thoughts, that never really made sense to me in the first place, but it would all come back to one thing. _Why did I survive?_

Then, as soon as I thought that, the horrible remembrance of Abby's bloodied corpse, her face forever etched into an expression of desperate defiance would flash across my eyes at lightning speed. I'd flinch back, almost to the point of flinging myself into my headboard. My hands would shake, my eyes dilate in fear, and sweat would break out across my entire body as I tried to fight of the phantom fear of that memory I could not shake.

It wasn't the memory of their cold, filthy and clammy hands tearing into my shoulders or my knees that would get to me, but always the memory of her face. Those beautiful blue eyes that she always complained about, saying how much she wished she had boring brown and how I would laughingly swat her upside the head and tell her blue was nothing to complain about.

Once my shakes subside, at least to a manageable level, I would always push the covers off of me. Not because I was warm, but because they were constricting and it reminded me of how **he** held me down while her screams bounced off the walls, and how **he** would make me watch so that the painful images were burned into my retinas. I couldn't sleep with covers anymore. Not even a sheet.

It was always the same at night, how I would feign sleep until Dad went to bed and then how I would sit up and try to think of the good times but how at every point the good times turned bad. I couldn't remember the good times without taint anymore, I couldn't remember how.

They told me, when I woke in that bed, that they had gotten a tip off about the old house. They said that we had been missing for two months, and that everyone had all but given up hope. It was a miracle we were found. I remember thinking, later, that if it were such a miracle…_then why is Abby not here with me?_

I think, on some days, that I have lost all sense of time. I know it was the end of September when they took us, that is was not but hours later that they stole all sense of innocence from Abby as she fought them off, and that it was days later they tried to do so to me. They failed. At every single try, Abby would grab their attention. I know, I _know_ she was protecting me but at times, I hated her for it and I asked myself _why?_

But I know why. Abby and I, we are… were sisters and thicker than blood. We knew each others secrets. Abby knew I was terrified of dating and I knew that Abby wanted to wait until she found the right guy to have sex. I knew that Abby hated the rain, and she knew that I'd do anything to catch a lightning storm. I was there when she snuck out, and she was there for me when I needed a bit of cheering up. We were never alone.

But I am _alone_. I hate it, this feeling of oppression I get now. Every time I look in the mirror of the bathroom and see my gaunt appearance and darkened eyes, the memories attack me full force. I avoid the mirrors now. I haven't seen myself in weeks. It's been near a month since they found us. A month since Abigail Renson left me alone in this god forsaken world.

I used to be the bright one, in awe of everything and always trying to find the good even with my cynical nature. Now, I don't know where there is awe to find or where the magic is but I miss it. I miss it _so much_.

They found us both at the end of December, right after Christmas Day. I remember ironically thinking what a wonderful Christmas Present it was, to be taken from there. But then they told me about Abby, and now I don't think I will ever think of Christmas the same way again.

It's February the 19th, and I know that Dad is at a loss as to what to do. I refused to see a therapist, knowing that if I do I will have to face it all. To be honest, I almost want to face it but then… then it's far too real, more real than it already is and… I'm not sure if I'm ready to be normal again.

He thinks that I don't know, but he was talking to Aunt Leslie last night and I couldn't help but overhear. I had always adored Aunt Leslie. He wants to send me to her and Uncle Henry. I have to wonder, if it's because he doesn't know how to deal with me or is it because he doesn't want to? Dad has always been distant since Mom passed but… ever since…

I know I need to go. A change of scenery, and the escape from all these memories, will do me good. It will help me heal, but… I'm not sure I want to heal. There always there, the memories, and I am afraid they won't ever go away. Constant flashing of bloodied red hair and empty blue eyes….

* * *

Turning slowly from the window, I wrap my arms tighter around myself and stare down at the dark blue comforter at the foot of the bed. My lower lip catches between my teeth as the thoughts rush through my head at an alarming rate, furrowing my brows I let my lip loose at the same time as I let out a huge rush of air.

"I need to go…", I murmur quietly to myself. It was the only thing I could possibly think of that might help me. "…and I wouldn't mind seeing Angie again."

I hesitated only briefly before heaving myself off the bed and padding slowly to my closet. I crossed the room in no time and opened the sliding door to pick my clothes, and these days picking close came easy. I always chose the same things. Of course, I'd recognized what I was doing but I couldn't keep myself from stopping. That day I had been wearing a bright, mixed color off the shoulder shirt with jean shorts over black tights and now I stick to the dark gray hoodies and black shirts with baggy jeans. It's not like I was short on those clothes anyways.

Grabbing the navy long sleeve shirt and dark gray hoodie, I tossed them to my bed and crossed to my dresser to grab my jeans. As I dressed, I took my time, hissing softly when my shirt slipped over my slowly healing ribcage, where the scar still existed red and angry. The doctor had said I was lucky, any deeper and I wouldn't have survived. Supposedly I was lucky enough as I was just shy of losing too much blood when they got to me. Our kidnappers hadn't done a very thorough job of disposing of the "evidence" after all.

Sighing softly, I left myself barefoot and headed downstairs, pausing only briefly at the door to the bathroom. I felt gross, my hair is grimy and my teeth fuzzy but I really couldn't give a damn at this point so I continued downstairs. My stomach grumbled on the way and I sighed yet again, wishing I didn't have to eat. I didn't have the energy.

I entered the kitchen to the smell and sound of bacon sizzling in the pan and Dad humming away to Andy Griffith. I rolled my eyes, surprised even at myself that I did so. It was such an "old me" thing to do, after all.

"Hey honey! Sleep well?" I knew he regretted it as soon as he said it, his brown eyes averted quickly and color rose to his cheeks. Nonetheless…

"Yea, fine. Morning Dad." I manage a faint smile at him and plop myself down at the table.

The next few minutes were silent as he finished cooking and served the plates. I had a steaming plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and grits in front of me in a moment and I couldn't help but stare at it in apprehension.

Dad chuckled, "It won't bite you Andy. Go on, eat up."

I grimaced, but nodded and picked up the fork. As I started to eat the eggs, although it was more of me pushing them around the plate, Dad took the time to hesitantly bring up the subject I was somewhat dreading and somewhat hoping for.

Hesitantly, Dad spoke," Andrea… I was thinking. You remember how you used to spend weeks with Aunt Leslie and your cousin Angela in Forks? Well, I was talking to your Aunt and she suggested you come visit…"

I glanced up at this point, and small frown making its way to my lips. Dad saw this and quickly hurried on, a panicked look starting to stretch across his face, "It's not that I don't want you honey! I just think it will do you some good to see old friends and to get out of town for a while. A change of scenery… What do you think…?"

He sounded so hopeful, so…. Pleading almost that I let my eyes wonder down to my barely touched breakfast. I could practically hear her whisper in my ear, '_Oh Andy! C'mon! Why would you WANT to stay in this boring old town? I mean, if I could go with you and actually meet this wonderful Aunt and Cousin of yours I so totally would! I mean, isn't there an Indian settlement there? Think of all the hot Natives!_'

I smiled slightly, and nodded.

Glancing up at him, I shrugged lightly and spoke, "Alright. Your right."

Dad beamed, "Great! I'll just go call your Aunt and have her meet you there at the airport. Your plane leaves tomorrow morning."

As Dad left the kitchen, I could only gape after him. Tomorrow?! Forks?!

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**Review makes the world go round. Oh, and I really don't know a ton about PTSD, only from what I learn through the internet and Psychology class... so if I offend anyone out there I am sincerely sorry. It's not on purpose and forgive my ignorance.**

**I also have a youtube teaser trailer for this fic.... link is in my profile if your curious.**

**Jeza xoxo**


	2. Chapter One

**Story Title: **Recovery (Got a better name? Suggest it.)

**Author Name: **BluJeza

**Summary: **She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

**Pairing(s): **Jacob Black/OC, Bella/Edward, other Canon Pairings still exist

**Time: **New Moon, around the time Jacob and Bella are getting close. Edward is gone, idiot that he is and Jacob is just starting the change from human to wolf.

**Warning(s): **Spoilers if you haven't read all four books, probably... Uh, in this chapter exists bad words, a little blood and psychological bad thoughts (Memory turned Nightmare), Some typos here and there cause I have no Beta and... Well, hey, this is T for a reason, though it may bump up to M later. After all, it can get a little Psychologically disturbing, I'm trying to get into her head.

**Disclaimer: **Stephanie Meyer is the lucky owner of the Twilight Series. Seth Clearwater would be my pet, Jake and Paul would never escape their leash, and Edward would be burned because... he's a pansy. Sorry. Oh, and Jasper would always be there to cheer me up - because he is just that awesome.

**A/N: **Okay! So three reviews, but there would of been more I'm sure if I weren't so impatient to get the second chapter out. Thank you **BlacksWerewolfa**, **ALLY **and **EclipseLover97**for your lovely reviews. As to the rest of you, I will try and reply to every review I get each chapter. I love reviews, they make me want to post the next chapter faster. Anyways, sorry for the typos. I never said I was great at spelling, and a Beta to catch these things would be AWESOME. Um... Spring Break just started for me, so I'll try to update this upcoming week with a third and maybe fourth chapter. I try to map my story out, but I kinda suck at that soo... I sort of go as I write. And don't worry! Jacob will come in soon, though probably not next chapter. Please, please, please let me know if I get characters OOC or IC. I really am bad at keeping to the original way they were written. It's going to be hard enough getting into Jake's head when the time comes, so help would be appreciated! Anyways, stop reading this jeez!! :)

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The airplane was suffocating with the mass of people walking down the aisle, shoving their way through and tossing their carry-on's in the overhead. She just knew this was going to be a long flight, stuck by the window seat and cramped inside by a large man seated in the aisle seat. Glancing over at him, she grimaced and quickly looked back out the window, hugging the backpack to her chest. He was tall, lanky, and blonde which was not a good combination. **He** was blonde and tall, but this man at least wasn't pale skinned like **he** was. She couldn't help but tense and tighten her hold on the bag in her arms, as if it were a safety net that would keep him _away_. Her eyes constantly shifted back to him, and then beyond to see the people still lingering in the aisle. _Why can't we just take off already?!_ Her mind was screaming at her, warning her at the danger that existed in this small, cramped space.

She felt the world closing in around her, the grip on her bag so tight her knuckles were turning white along with her breath starting to come in short gasps. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she turned her head to the window seat and leaned her forehead against the edge of it while trying desperately to grab a big gulp of air. It wasn't working. Her heart clenched in her chest, so tightly she felt as if it were being squeezed into oblivion. Licking her lips, she shook her head quickly and slowly started chanting, _Safe, Safe, Safe_, under her breath. By this point, the man in the aisle seat was staring at her weirdly, as if he were trying to figure out why he was sitting by a psycho. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, and scream at him, _'You are sitting by a psycho!_'

Blinking her muddy eyes open, she glanced over at him quickly and noted the look that she just knew he had been sending at her. Yes, he was definitely staring at her as if she were a freak. Morosely, she did count herself among those who were psychotic. How could she not be, with all these overwhelming feelings swirling around inside of her? She sat up to maneuver her bag under the seat in front of her, and then grabbing the pillow in the empty middle seat she pressed it against the closed window. Sighing, she glanced over at the man again while ignoring the blonde hair that swept into his brown eyes. _Brown_, she thought with relief, _not Green_. If they were green, then it would be too close. Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked away and laid her head against the pillow.

For the next few moments, as the people started to settle in the seats around her, she stared blankly at the seat in front of her. The moment, for now, was almost to the point of numbness. For the first time since being found she felt almost… safe, because when you were numb you couldn't feel fear. When you were numb, there was no despair or anger. Her lips twisted into a slow smile at the thought of feeling nothing, because it would be so nice compared to what she had been feeling. Constant fear and anxiety was not a good thing to be hashed onto a kidnapping victim, especially one as weak as her. She cringed away from the self-depreciating thought and turned her head further against the pillow almost to the point where her eyes were pressed into it.

It was only ten to fifteen minutes later when the plane took off from the ground, climbing into the sky quickly. Her ears felt the pressure and she swallowed thickly, trying to keep the pressure away. She had always had a problem with popping her ears, even with the small height of the Blue Ridge Mountains that she'd camped in before… with Abby. Her breath caught, and in that same moment that those faded blue eyes popped into her head, the pressure in her ears reached its final point and vanished. She would have sighed with relief, if it weren't for the fact that she was caught in the memory.

"_Andy! C'mon!"_

_Abigail laughed as she ran ahead, scrambling up the bank of the rocky river. They were out camping for the weekend, just her and Abs, up in the Blue Ridge. The spot they were at was right by a big river and a smaller creek, which at the moment was what they were crossing. Andrea grumbled good naturedly and stepped carefully over the slippery stones, trying to avoid the cold and frigid water as much as possible. Who was she kidding? It was impossible. With a shriek, her foot flew out from under her and she found herself landing butt first in said cold river. Andrea found herself gaping, her mouth hanging open like a fish looking for food. _

_Meanwhile, Abigail couldn't help herself and had doubled over, holding her stomach as she laughed uproariously. Andrea scowled and jerked her head up to glare at her, her mouth snapping closed with a click._

_Andrea yelled, "ABBY!! It's not funny!" _

_She was horrified and she was wet, which was even worse because camp was at least two miles back the other way._

_Abigail's laughter slowed into small giggles, with a few hiccups tossed in here and there. Andy pushed herself up, slipping every once in a while when trying to grab her footing. Abigail was obviously of no help, as she continued to watch with giggles escaping from under her hand. With a scowl planted firmly on her face, she stomped from the water towards Abigail with flames of revenge burning in her eyes. With a smirk of mischief she reached Abby just in time for Abigail herself to figure out what was going on. A gasp and laughing shriek escaped in the next few seconds as Andrea embraced Abigail tightly, soaking her friend to the bone._

"_Now you have to suffer the two miles back to camp with me!" Andy laughed._

_Abigail pouted, "So not fair Andy." _

_Andrea grinned while starting to shiver, she shrugged, "Hey, you brought it all on yourself. Seriously Abs? You could have helped me out!"_

_Abigail giggled, "You have to admit! It was funny as hell!"_

_Rolling her eyes, Andrea turned away and started back across the river, not even bothering to try and stay away from the wet. She was soaked already, so more water couldn't hurt right? As she got to the other side, she heard Abby trudging through after her and already complaining. Laughing, Andrea turned to look only to suddenly scream and fall backwards._

_It was Abigail, of course, but not Abigail as she was supposed to be. Abigail looked up, confused at the scream and brushed a piece of wet red hair from her dirtied cheek. Glassy blue eyes stared unfocused at Andrea, even as she continued forward with the torn clothes hanging off her sunken frame. Blood dripped from her soaked hair, and the large gash on her stomach was clearly tearing open with each step. _

_Andrea frantically scrambled backwards, the scream stuck in her throat as she stared in horror at the visage of her best friend. Her dead best friend. Abigail looked confused and paused in the middle of the river, the blood gathering around her feet and the missing fingernails looked gruesome as she raised her hand towards Andrea._

"_Hey! Are you alright? Hey!"_

_It was Abigail speaking, but it wasn't. Andrea shook, sobs escaping her lips even as Abigail took another step and spoke again._

"_Hey! Calm down!"_

"_It's okay! Wake up! Wake up!"_

Andrea jerked up and away from the hand at her shoulder with a terrified shriek, drawing far more attention than needed. She turned quickly to the man who had shaken her awake, his concerned brown eyes staring into her own. His face was etched into worry and a bit of annoyance, as if she had inconvenienced him by her nightmare. Shaking slightly, she found herself shoving further away and into the wall of the plane.

"Woah!" He held up his hands, a look of concerned alarm on his face, "Calm down now. Are you alright? That was pretty intense there."

Licking her lips, she nodded jerkily and croaked out, "Thanks. Sorry."

She turned away quickly, violently shoving the nightmare to the back of her mind. It was almost impossible to do, of course, but she managed and then desperately tried to ignore the man who was _still_ giving her concerned looks. Seriously, thanks guy but no thanks. She just wanted to be left alone. Her heart was still pounding in her chest from the scare she had gotten. It had definitely been a memory but then it… she locked the nightmare away. No, she wouldn't think about it. It hurt.

Breathing in quickly, she glanced at the watch on her wrist and frowned. There was still an hour and a half until the plane landed, but she really wished it was over. This place was starting to suffocate her faster; she could feel it creeping up around the edges of her cloud of despair. Biting her lip harshly, enough to sting, she closed her eyes and settled down again. This time, she desperately thought of her mother and as she did she remember her kind brown eyes and the laugh lines around her mouth.

A soft smile touched upon her lips as she got lost in these memories, occasionally a flash of blue eyes would dance in front and taint the memory but at this point she had gotten quite good at ignoring them. Her mother had been a wonderful woman, and she missed her dearly but she had died well. At least with her mother, she hadn't died in front of her. Harshly, she swore quietly and locked the memories away again. If she knew how to meditate at this point she would, because she knew without a doubt that the rest of the flight was going to be bordering on hell.

* * *

Change of P.O.V

"Andrea!"

The shout of my name made me look around as I exited the gate, my backpack thrown over one shoulder instead of two. It didn't take long to spot my Aunt and when I did my eyes lit up and I rushed forward. The two met halfway and arms were immediately wrapped around each other.

"Aunt Leslie!" I gasped out, happy tears welling in my eyes. It had been far too long since I had seen her and I had missed her so much. It was so good to feel my Aunt's arms around me. So good.

"Look at you sweetheart! You look…", here my Aunt faltered slightly and her smile withered a little, but just as quick it picked up and stretched though I knew it was fake, "You look wonderful."

Her voice was soft when she finished the sentence, and I paused slightly as a look of gloom appeared in my eyes. I pushed it back, willing the numbness over myself like a warm blanket and smiled.

"I've missed you Aunt. How is everyone?"

Aunt Leslie smiled, "Oh, you know. Just fine. Your Uncle Henry is busy as ever at the church and the twins are terrors."

We made our way towards the baggage claim as we talked, and my smile suddenly became real as I remembered the twins. "They are nine now, right? I haven't seen them since they were five!"

Aunt Leslie laughed, squeezing me around the shoulders gently. We had reached the baggage claim by this point, and I glanced over the shoulders of strangers to search for my bad. Nothing.

"Yes, they are nine now. They drive Angela crazy. Your Uncle Henry finds it hilarious."

I grinned at that and glanced over at her, my heart suddenly a little bit lighter. It felt… good, to be this way. No thoughts of what happened entered my thoughts as my Aunt spoke about my cousins and Uncle. I listened as we picked up my bag and made our way out. It wasn't long at all until we were settled in the car and driving from the Seattle airport towards Forks, Washington. The drive was going to be a long one, but I was content. Like usual, I lost all sense of time and my Aunt and I caught up with each other. All mention of … it was avoided at all possible, though many times I found my Aunt glancing at me with this overwhelming ache of pity in her eyes.

I ignored the pity. I had to, because if I acknowledged it then I would actually have to feel something. I didn't want to feel anything but this strange sense of numb content as we made our way towards Forks. I really could not wait to see Angela and the twins. Uncle Henry too, as he was by far my favorite Uncle ever. _He is your only one._ My thoughts interjected and I huffed. He was still the best Uncle ever.

The Weber's House

The car parked in the drive and before the engine was even off I noticed the front door wide open and two identical blurs racing to the car, both screaming my name. I smiled slightly and opened the door, shutting it just in time for the two to wrap their arms around me. Hearing laughter as I wrapped my arms around them two in a quick, but gentle hug I looked up.

Angela was standing, her arms crossed and small smile on her lips. She looked well, and concerned but with an almost forced relaxed aura around her to ignore what was right in front of her. I appreciated that from her, because there was absolutely zero pity in Angie's eyes.

"Hey Andrea. It's been a long time! I've missed you!" She sounded excited, but as always her voice was soft and gentle like Aunt Leslie's. I loved that about her, because as timid as Angela was it didn't matter because she never raised her voice and that was just what I needed right now.

Letting the twins go, I responded to Angela even as the two raced back to house with a call of "Goodbye!" over their shoulder. "Hi Ange…You look good."

She shrugged, and an easy grin on her face, "You look different."

My eyes lit up as she didn't dance around the subject and I shrugged, my smile slipping slightly. "I know."

Giving me a once over, she frowned suddenly and looked up. "You are rooming with me, but before you even touch that extra bed you take a shower." She blushed then and glanced down, before looking up. "Sorry, but you stink."

I laughed slightly, a small blush on my own cheeks and approached her to give her a hug. She returned it loosely then drew away and turned towards the house where Uncle Henry just exited. I glanced past her and froze as my eyes locked onto green. They were…_No! That's Uncle Henry! Not __**him**__!_ I swallowed and glanced back at Angela who was now looking at me with worry.

"You okay?" She asked softly and I couldn't help but slowly shake my head, trembling.

"No." I echoed, my voice barely audible even as everything else seemed slightly muted as if someone had a remote control and we were the TV. I looked up at Uncle Henry again, who was frowning and has turned to speak quietly to Aunt Leslie. They both looked worried. I felt immediately horrible, because who was I to push myself off onto relatives who I hadn't even seen in over three years? I quickly scolded myself, because they had invited me and not the other way around.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and turned to Angela. "Can we go up now, please Ange?" I questioned softly, my eyes flickering from my Aunt and Uncle then back to Angela.

She nodded slowly, a small concerned frown on her lips. "Yes, of course! I'll show you where you can put your stuff. Dad will bring the rest up later, if that's alright?"

I shrugged, because it really didn't matter to me. I just wanted to hide at the moment, and if I had my way I would continue to hide. Because… really, I was too much of a coward and until I had to face Forks High I was going to lock myself as much as possible in Angela's room. I didn't want to face the world. I didn't. I was terrified that at any moment, out in public, I would freak out and have a flashback. I knew it had to happen sooner or later because that's just how it is. I've freaked out in my own home but not in public, but only because I have avoided the public.

I followed Angela into the house, squeezing as far away from Uncle Henry as possible and keeping my eyes on the ground as I passed. The only similarities my Uncle had with **him** was the eyes but it was the eyes of people that always haunted me, and this was no different. It really is true when people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. The walk to Angela's room was mostly quiet, the only thing that disturbed the walk was the sound of the twins hitting each other in the background.

We reached the room soon and Angela turned to me.

"Here we are! Hasn't changed much, I'm sorry if it is too cramped…" She trailed off, and unsure look on her face. I smiled and shook my head, "It's not problem Angie. I don't need much room."

It was true, I really did not need that much room and I knew Angela was quick to feel bad about things, she was just that type of person. She was always too caring for her own good. Sighing, I sat down on the bed across the room, the one I would obviously be using.

"Well, um… do you want some time alone?" She seem unsure as she asked, her bottom lip being worried between her teeth and I smiled, grateful.

"That would be great, thanks. See you in a few?" I spoke.

She nodded, "Of course. I'll be back later." She quickly left, shutting the door gently behind her and I sighed.

Glancing around her room, I took it in slowly with a thoughtful look. Her room had quite a bit of purple in it, the rug being a soft cream color with the walls painted a pale purple. Her curtains, which were to the left of my own twin bed, were colored a darker purple with a see through white underneath. She had two dressers side by side between two beds and right in front of the curtains, which was odd but I suppose it worked for her. The closet was to the left of the door to her room, which was at the end of her own twin bed. All in all, her room was cozy and very light… and purple.

I grimaced slightly. Purple was good and all, but I had no idea that Angela liked it so much. I was going to never look at purple again after I was done with this trip… which, actually, was for an indefinite amount of time so far. I had no idea when I would see Dad again, or even if I would ever go back. How could I when that place held so much? The Renson's wouldn't even speak to me, because they blamed me for what happened to Abigail. I understood, because I blamed myself for Abigail's death and torture too. After all, if she were not so attached to me she would not have taken the brunt of their anger and scorn….

I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts, glancing towards the window. The curtains were currently drawn to the side and I couldn't help but stare out at the trees in the backyard. _Abby would have hated it here_, I thought with a slight but sad smile. It was far too wet and rainy.

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**Reviews make me happy. Oh, and there is poll on my profile as to if I should keep this Jake/OC or switch to Paul/OC. Which, okay admittedly, it is staying a Jake/OC anyways but I'm kind of curious as to what you guys think.... hehe **

**xoxo**

**Jeza**


	3. It's more like gravity moves

**Story Title**: Recovery

**Author Name**: BluJeza

**Summary**: She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

**Pairing(s)**: Jacob Black/OC, Bella/Edward, other canon couples

**Time**: New Moon - and beyond, definitly turns AU, hello... DUH its Jake/OC :)

**Warning(s)**: Jakes potty mouth, and mention of rape but NOT graphic - will never ever go into that, just a MENTION

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, Stephanie Meyer invented Twilight and owns all the characters. The only thing I own are four hard covered books, and a poster... I think... somewhere? I mean, really, if I owned Twilight.... *grins* Well, let's just say you should be glad I don't.

**A/N**: Okay, so I typed up Jake's P.O.V late last night, at about 10pm actually so not that late... and I stopped. I even went to bed! But then I woke up and couldn't sleep, and got on youtube - my guilty pleasure. Saw a Jake AMV to Enrique Iglesias' Hero and... hehe I had to finish. Hope your happy!

**A/N 2**: I'm going to try and back off a little on the self-depreciating thoughts in Andrea's head. It's starting to annoy even me, but that's what I get trying to write a character with an angsty past I guess. It's a definite challenge for me. Um…as for Jacob, well… you all get a surprise in this chapter. I decided to skip a few these that I was going to put in but… your right, Jacob right now is best. So I tweaked my plan a little and well, this is what you get. I apologize that it's so short though (your surprise, not the chapter).

**A/N 3**: I changed the rating to M to be safe for language and the disturbing memories Andrea sometimes has, but I'm also going to cut back on those. But still, just to be safe. Probably won't have a lemon, because I really have never written a romance before much less a lemon. Though someone is welcome to write one when the time comes and I'll post it up as an option for people.

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It's been a week since I've been here and I still have yet to start Forks High. I had asked Aunt Leslie that same day I arrived at dinner when I would be starting, and to my pleasant surprise she told me that I would not have to go in for another two weeks.

When I asked why, she simply gave me this look and replied, "To give you time to settle." And that was that.

I had no will to even try to get more out of her, but then why would I when I knew exactly what it was she was thinking? It was probably along the lines of 'Poor Andrea, so torn up. She can't deal with people yet.' Seriously, I understand I'm fragile right now and most likely a little more than insane but it has gotten tiring fending off the pitying looks and the tip toeing around me. Thankfully, Angela wasn't like that. In fact, I remember well the second night I was here…

_Angela stepped inside, a firm resolve face etched onto her features as she closed the door. She turned towards me and crossed the room rather quickly before pausing with a small, now uncertain, frown on her lips. _

"_Andrea….," She started, hesitant, "Please, you have to talk to me. You know I'm here, right?" _

_I froze, my breath being held within me before I could even think and then in a big whoosh of air I let my entire frame wilt. Angela took a seat beside me on the bed, her tanned hand reached out and curled around my own which was encased in my lap. I grimaced. She was playing the sympathy card right now, but I couldn't be angry at her because it was just an Angela thing to do._

"_Ange.. I..I really don't know..," I started, then stopped and bit my lower lip. She squeezed my hand then sighed and leaned against me with her head resting on my shoulder. Angela is three inches taller than my 5'7, yet that does not stop her from playing the smaller of us. She didn't say anything, just waited for me and I knew what she was waiting for._

_Cursing quietly, I started with a small hitch in my voice, "I don't want to face it. It hurts too much Angie…"_

_My voice sounded small even to my own ears and I inwardly rolled my eyes. When, oh when, did I become such a whiner? Wait… I shuddered as the thought crossed my mind and tensed up imperceptibly. I couldn't go that route, because I know exactly when I…. My thoughts trailed off and I quickly forced myself back to the present._

"_It was Saturday… We were downtown and…," My voice trailed off, getting smaller and weaker. Swallowing thickly, I closed my eyes which were slowly filling with tears and breathed. I felt Angela move closer, turning so that she wrapped her other arm around me. I leaned into her, the warmth she provided seeped into my very pores. After a moment of hesitation I blindly and forcefully plowed on, my stubborn and impulsive nature getting the best of me._

"_It was a blue van and before we knew it, it was right beside us and they were pulling us inside. We fought, and Ab…Abigail," here I choked slightly on my own tongue, but I quickly continued with my words rushing from my mouth in an uneven flow, "She was always good at slipping away, and she did. They couldn't get a good grip on her. I was being held down already, and they'd already gotten something in my mouth… a cloth or something, I don't know but I still tried. She… They hit her first, knocked her out. She was bleeding. I was… I was so scared Ange…"_

_I found myself crying suddenly, and Angela herself was tense and as held me. I couldn't say anymore except for a small, whispered confession, "She was pregnant. When she died. Those monsters made her pregnant."_

Admittedly, the entire ordeal had helped. Angela had stayed there with me, rocking me in her arms and no matter how awkward I felt afterwards I am grateful. I'm sort of… glad she forced it from me. All of it has been haunting me and I really wasn't sure how to deal with it but… I know I will eventually, won't I?

I flinched at the thought of facing it all, inwardly shying away and quickly forcing those stupid blocks up against the memories of those blue eyes. Her eyes always haunted me the most, always.

So, yes, that had helped and in the week I've been here I've not left the house. It isn't like me, or it wasn't until… Well, until it happened. Which is why, at the very moment my head is running wild I am lacing up my tennis shoes. I love running, and always have. I haven't been out for a run since before though, and so running to where I plan to is going to be a challenge.

The times I visited Forks were few and short, so I've never been to La Push but I've always been curious. Supposedly there is a beach there, and I wouldn't mind seeing it even if it's probably full of rocks. A beach in my head is sunny, warm, and with clear water but that isn't likely to be found here and it's not as if I've really been to one anyways. Sure, I've been to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina, but that beach is just plain gross. Anyways, La Push is about 15 minutes away by car but that is going the speed limit which is like 35 mph. I don't know why they decided it would be a good idea to creep along, but there you go.

At a run, I knew that it would take me a good 40 or so minutes, especially since I would not be flat out running. It would be more of a slow jog for me; considering I am weak from the… ordeal and that I haven't really been eating or sleeping well. Nonetheless, when I ran the world fell away and I could just be free. I wanted to be free, so it was time to run.

Standing up, I swiped my iPod from the top of the dresser and ignored the mirror by the door as I walked out. Angela had put a full body mirror right on the wall by the door leading out, and if I didn't know that it has been there for years I would say she is trying to force me to look at myself again. I don't want to look at myself. I'll break if I do, I just know I will.

I stepped outside of the house, shutting the door behind me and breathed in. The twerps, I mean twins, were at school and Angela was too. Uncle Henry was at the church as far I knew and I had no idea where Aunt Leslie is, and I guess I should probably tell someone I'm going out but… I do have my cell phone on me. Glancing back at the house for a moment, I hesitated and then scowled. I want to be free! So I turned, and I ran.

Feeling the rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement, the sound of my breath coming and going and the slight burn in my legs was heaven. I could feel the euphoria slowly seeping through me, even as I glanced down at the iPod in my hand and flicked it on. I kept one eye on where I was going, but I'd been running since I was little and it didn't take much to keep my steady pace and direction. I slowly turned it to my playlist that held Breaking Benjamin, Coldplay, Boys Like Girls, and others like Red. I didn't dare turn the volume up, instead I kept it on low and just let it seep into my very bones.

Raising my head, I glanced around slowly. The neighborhood that my relatives live in is fairly nice and well kept but it is also small and slightly out of the way. This is a good thing, especially for me seeing as how I adore my privacy. I breathed in the cold February air and slowly let a smile curve over my lips. I let the thoughts of my relatives drift away, the thoughts of why I was here left me and I became lost in the sensation of the burn in my lungs and the 'thump, thump' of my heart. This is why I ran, this feeling of drifting and completeness. It is the closest thing I get to complete happiness, especially now. I know I will definitely run more often. I had missed it.

I was brought from my drifting to the feel of my legs quivering and my breath becoming gasping. I was exhausted, and I knew I needed to slow it. Somehow, I'd forgotten to pace myself and had gotten faster as I'd left my thoughts. I glanced around and my eyebrows shot up in surprise. I had already reached La Push?

I glanced down at the watch on my wrist and my eyes widened. It's been at least 50 minutes since I left the house! Startled, I dropped into a slow jog and then a walk, letting my breathing become deeper so the burn in my lungs left. I veered off the road when I spotted what was obviously the beach, even as I reached down and turned my iPod off. I wanted to hear the ocean.

Hear the ocean I did, and I smiled as I listened to the waves crashing against the sand. The sound was gentle, so there couldn't be much current today. The wind was also low, which actually kind of sucked because with the way my skin is glistening I could use a good gust of air to cool me off. I stopped at the edge of surf and closed my eyes, letting the gentle wind brush over my face. It felt strangely good, and in this moment I was so relaxed I couldn't even drudge up the normal numbness that has been accompanying me lately.

For a few moments it was silent, then I heard the footsteps approaching and I tensed while my eyes snapped open. My entire form couldn't help but become hyperaware of someone walking towards me, it was as if a switch had just been flipped on and I let my eyes easily slide in the direction of the sound. I couldn't help but let my eyes widen slightly, my lips parting without my consent at the boy… no, man standing nearby. He hadn't noticed me yet, although he wasn't walking anymore.

My eyes would not tear away from him, no matter how hard I tried and I had the sinking feeling that my life had just completely changed. I inwardly scoffed at the thought; my life had already changed after all. Letting myself study him was easy, especially since he seemed unaware that I was watching him. He had short cropped black hair and dark russet skin, he was also not wearing a shirt. I swallowed hard when he suddenly noticed me, his eyes meeting mine.

I couldn't breathe. It was like the entire outside world suddenly didn't matter anymore. His eyes were a dark green, like jade, and I was caught. He was looking at me as if I were the only thing he could see, and I felt strangely vulnerable because of it.

My heart was pounding so fast it was like the horses at a derby and I could feel my hands growing sweaty from nervous energy sweeping through me. Like an electric current, I was swept up and couldn't find an escape. That is, until his eyes left mine and wandered _down_.

Tensing, I closed my eyes as fear swept over me. _Stupid! Your alone on a beach and this guy looks strong! He could…_ I let my thoughts trail off into oblivion as distress tingled in my veins. I could feel my breathing speed up, my heart working overtime to keep up with the sudden flight instinct I felt. Opening my eyes, I watched as his own were suddenly sweeping up my body again with a look that was so _familiar_ but _different_.

I couldn't focus on the _different_ though because that _familiar_ was so undeniably terrifying that I was almost to the point of bursting into hysterical tears. I'd seen that familiarity somewhere else, and it did not end well. At the same time, that difference was holding me back as if it were screaming, rather loudly, in my ear that he _would not hurt me_. But that scared me too.

As soon as he met my eyes, I saw the realization flash through them. He saw. _He knows I'm terrified of him…_ I realized as well. His eyes widened and his mouth parted, I could see the subtle shifts of his body that told me he was about to move forward.

I bolted.

My back turned, I could hear him shout out to me but I couldn't _wait_. I couldn't. For some reason, my heart screamed that I should not be running. That, if anything, the man I was currently running from would protect me from everything that scared me. But at the moment…. he scared me… Because I was didn't know _why_ I felt like the safest treasure on earth when he was looking at me. Or just _why_ he was looking like I was the center of his universe, the very gravity that kept him grounded.

I couldn't even find my own gravity, so how could I be his?

* * *

Jacob's P.O.V

I decided that my nose was way too sensitive. It wasn't enough that I could hear every god damned thing in a mile radius easily enough but to smell it too was just ridiculous. It was enough to make me hurl, especially when Paul decided to let one rip.

I mean, what the fuck man? Really, it had been enough that this gene had to come and bite me in the ass but to be ripped away from Bella too? She was falling apart at the seams and I was fixing her. Keyword there: _was_. Fucking Sam.

I scowled, violently shoving my hands into my pockets. I mean, sure, it was nice that I had Embry back but that just sucks even more because now Quil is left behind. And Quil was panicky enough when it was just Embry ditching him.

I just had to get out of that house though, because watching Sam mooning over Emily and Jared mooning over his phone call with Kim was sickening. Seriously, if this is all imprinting is then I want nothing to do with it. Unless….

A grin crossed my face, but then fell just as quickly. Who am I kidding? Imprinting on Bella? I scoffed, kicking at the sand under my feet as I did so. Shoving my hands deeper into the pockets of my denim shorts, despite the fact that I could easily rip the things, I walked faster.

If I did imprint on Bella though, then I could tell her everything. There would absolutely be no hiding it from her and that would be just fucking awesome. I smirked as I thought of the leeches disgusting face when he got the news that Bells is mine! He would be pissed.

I chuckled lowly. Ah, fantasy. Yea… if only. Huffing, I scowled again. Fuck if I didn't feel like a PMSing girl, the way I was going through all these emotions. Why did I have to be a werewolf again? Oh, right. Thank you Ephraim fucking Black. I sneezed suddenly and paused, my nose wrinkling at the smell that just crossed my way too sensitive nose. Okay, if that isn't weird…

Glancing up with a confused frown, I peered down the beach. That smell… It wasn't bad, in fact it smelt pretty damn good but… What the hell? Puzzled, I continued to search with my eyes and even strained my hearing to find the source of the _heavenly_ scent.

Oh….

Oh!

My eyes widened suddenly and my mouth dropped of its own accord. The heat suddenly scorching through me was alarming, and there was a brief second where I was worried I was phasing but it was different. The heat _flowed_ through my veins, warming me from the inside and ending at my heart which I found had picked up its tempo tenfold. I was caught, mesmerized at the sight not but 15 feet away. I could feel myself unraveling, the way I fell apart was almost painful in the intensity and it was as if time stood still for that split second. My world was shifting, turning on its entire head and then settling. At the same time I felt myself being threaded back together, but with a new addition.

Bella didn't seem so important anymore, and I even found myself suddenly thinking her a moron for settling for a dead guy but… It didn't hurt and it didn't make me angry. No, Bella didn't matter. Those dark brown eyes staring back at me with a deer caught in headlights look did. They were deep, intense, and I suddenly felt my own heart ache for what I saw there because she was in pain.

The fact that I had ditched Quil like a good for nothing friend, or the fact that I could now turn into an overgrown fucking puppy no longer bothered me. My universe had become completely undone and then redone the second I met those astonished eyes. Slowly, I let myself really look at her starting with those beautiful eyes and trailing down.

She was just standing there, dressed in a black and grey track suit with headphones stuck in her ears. Her hair was a dark brown, bordering on black that was cut short to frame her heart shaped face perfectly. Her eyes were large, almond shaped with a slight twist up at the corners and she had the cutest little beauty mark right by her hair line by her left eye. Those pink lips were parted slightly, the lower lip slightly fuller than her top and that pink little tongue darted out to swipe at them. I almost groaned at the sight as a certain part of my anatomy made itself aware, my hands curled into fists before relaxing.

She was tall, maybe about 5'6 or 5'7 give or take and she had a slim frame, with wide hips and long legs that dropped for miles. I allowed my eyes to wonder down, to end at those small feet that were encased in grey tennis shoes. My eyes rose again, past her calves and thighs and up towards her stomach, then her chest. I swallowed thickly, because even though she was a little small up top she was still fucking perfect. I let my eyes move up again to settle on the slender slope of her throat and then her eyes, which were now terrified.

I froze. No, why was she scared? Frantic, my eyes widened and I opened my mouth to speak but she suddenly turned tail and ran. She _ran._

"Wait!" I called, my voice full of panic. She was running from me! No, no, no! I felt my heart clench in my chest, like I was being compressed into a small, tight space. She couldn't run. What if I never saw her again? I took an involuntary step forward but suddenly a large hand landed on my shoulder and jerked me back.

"Let her go." It was Sam. It was fucking Sam! I snarled and turned to him, ready to give him a new fucking color on his face when he held up his hands and spoke.

"Jacob. She's scared. You can find her later but let her cool off."

I deflated, so suddenly that my shoulders sunk and I felt as if the sun would never shine again. When I spoke, my voice sounded too whiny even to my own ears.

"Sam…," I choked out, "She _ran_ from me."

His eyes softened and he sighed, releasing my shoulder to step back. I vaguely noticed that Paul, Jared, and Embry weren't around.

"Don't worry Jacob, she's your imprint. She has to feel it too. You'll see her again." He reassured.

"But what if she _doesn't_?" I whispered, my eyes turning longingly in the direction she ran off in. She was gone. Only her scent remained, and I let myself breathe it in deeply. A brief curl of my lip and belly deep growl escaped me, because Sam was tainting her smell. He was… I inwardly smacked myself. _Get a hold of yourself, Jake man!_

"She will." He said, and he sounded so fucking smug. I scowled, but then sighed and painfully wrenched my eyes away from the direction she'd gone in. I'd fucking imprinted. And she was terrified of me.

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**I hope I did alright with Jake's character. I really have a hard time keeping everyone in character so its a challenge, let me know if anything sounds off. Also, I'm getting hits to the story but only 6 reviews. Which is understandable, I'm guilty of it too. But, I really could use the encouragement. When I get a review, it makes me hurry. Which is why this chapter is out already really. I blame XxMichyBabyxX and VampireWolfGirl09, haha :) Thanks guys.**

**xoxo**

**Jeza**


	4. It's all Paul's fault

**Story Title: **Recovery

**Author Name: **BluJeza

**Summary: **She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

**Pairing(s): **Jacob/OC

**Warning(s): **this chapter is actually really really tame, so cursing... I think, is the only warning.

**Disclaimer: **I own Jacob. No, really, I do..... Okay! Fine! No, as always, Stephanie Meyer owns Jacob and all his little friends. Twilight is not mine. Just Andrea is.

**A/N: **Sooo... I'm not sure I'm happy with this chapter. I feel like I've skipped a lot, but then there isn't a lot for Andrea to do when she has no school so.... There is no Angela in this chapter either. Or her friends, or Bella. I was going to put Bella, but I felt like Jake was cooler. If Andy never meets Bella, that would be AWESOME. But she will, of course. Because Bella is like a freakin' plague. Anyways! There are probably typos that I missed in here, but I did do spellcheck... wow, I need a Beta. Hm... I felt like my muse was flat for this chapter, so I'm sorry. Hope you like it anyways, even if I don't. I added a new thing to it - Journal entries! I don't know if I'll do it again though. Maybe... depends on if you guys like it. Tell me what you think!

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_

_Journal,_

_It's March now, actually it's March 4__th__. It's been two weeks since I came to Forks, and a week since I saw that… that guy when I was running. I can't stop thinking about it, but somehow it's a relief that I'm thinking about him instead of… well instead of what happened. I don't know why I can't get him out of my head though! Yes, he was hot, I admit it! But… but I don't moon over guys. __That was __I just don't get it. It was intense though. When he looked at me, I actually felt safe! Safe! I haven't felt that way in such a long time and it... god, it was terrifying. He's a complete stranger. I don't know his name even, and hell he could be some pervy pedophile for all I know! _

_I thought about asking Angela about him, but how would she know? Or… maybe I can get her to go to La Push with me? To show me the sights? Oh god, I've gone off the deep end! Now I'm making excuses to see him?! I don't know him!! This makes no sense! Okay… Back up, we are forgetting everything I just wrote – everything!_

_So, I start Forks High on Monday. It's Saturday today, just after lunch actually. Aunt Leslie has backed off a bit on me – oh, that's right. I guess you should know just what she backed off on, huh? She's been trying to get me to see a shrink – and, okay, yea I have nothing against shrinks personally…. But I can't see one. I don't want to talk about it, because it just makes it hurt more. I mean, I'm going to remember it for the rest of my godforsaken life, and probably have nightmares and be paranoid too. I don't think I'll ever get better at this point._

_It's been…. Wow, it's been about 3 months! It seems like it was – yesterday. _

_Sorry, I couldn't… god, I'm a mess. I can't eat, can't sleep, and I keep crying and I just want to stop!! This is ridiculous! I just… I miss her so much. Abigail… she __is __was more than just a best friend. I grew up with her, y'know? She was my sister. My twin. I swear, if I believed in such things, she'd be the other half of my soul – lost in transition. Wow, how corny. I've become really lame._

_I need to get my life back, I'm just scared. I still can't look in the mirror. I'm afraid of what I'll see, I mean – c'mon! I bet I'm a skeleton at this point, I'm surprised my hair hasn't fallen off. Then again – I'm perfectly healthy, except for this gross scar on my ribcage. _

_Yea, it's no longer bruised – thank god. It still is tender though, it's also red and raw still. I know now what people mean when they say a scar is angry. It looks it. Inflamed almost. Ugh… I'm supposed to keep this special cream on – but it sticks to my hands, which is really annoying and…. And I'm going to stop talking about that god awful scar._

_Sometimes, I think I have to talk about the less important things. I think I've changed. It used to be that I never worried about appearance, or the things people never really take time to notice but now? It's like that's all that matters because if I focus on that… then I can't focus on the other "stuff"._

_Maybe I should see a shrink. No, no I can't. Cause then I'd have to relive it, though it's not like I don't every night – or sometimes during the day. I still get these flashes, it's so strange because it feels like I'm there and I lose sight of my surroundings. It's surreal. Aunt Leslie has a point – but… Jesus, I never thought I'd be one of those people who would need to see a shrink. Or… or talk things over to 'get it off my chest'. I still think that's a load of bull though. How does talking make you feel better?_

_I'm good at the not dwelling – or at least I'm getting there. It's gotten easier to ignore things, to feel numb I guess. Numb is good. Numb means no pain, or fear, or…or… well, shit. I'm screwed._

I rolled over onto my back, letting my journal rest on my stomach. With a tired groan, I stretched my hand up in the air and curl my fingers. The cramp in my hand was a annoying without a doubt, but it is what I get for refusing to keep my journal on a laptop. If it is on a laptop, then it is easier to lose. Laptop's crash all the time, and call me paranoid but they are also hacked all the time. An actual leather journal can be hidden under lock and key, then again I never thought I'd have need of one.

Moaning softly under my breath, I let my hand flop down on top of the journal on my stomach and just stared blankly at the ceiling. My thoughts were going haywire still, but I let them as I have been doing lately. Anything to get me out of this monotonous existence. It goes without saying that I am bored, and have been for the past two weeks. I scowled then, stretching the hand not on my journal up above my head. Brown eyes fluttering shut, my scowl shifted into a frown as I thought about the only exciting thing to have happened.

His eyes were stuck in my head. It was annoying.

"Why the hell do I have such fascination with eyes?" I grumbled quietly, disgruntled with myself.

Seriously, I have problems. I just know it. Turning onto my side, I placed the journal onto the bedside table and glanced towards the open door. There was a rule in my Aunt and Uncle's house of a 'Doors Open' when someone is inside. Privacy is like a no go, which seriously blows. I enjoy my privacy like any other person – whose normal.

"Which I'm not…" I mutter with a scowl, sitting up and placing my face in my hands.

Gripping my scalp tightly, I huff angrily and stood, dropping my hands. I crossed the room in a few strides, snapping up my black jacket and two-toned navy shoulder bag. I was going out, even if I didn't own a car. Making my way downstairs, I peeked into the twins room, wondering why it was so quiet, when I realized they are at soccer practice with Aunt Leslie. I paused at the entrance to the living room, noticing Uncle Henry was in and working on what looked like his sermon for tomorrow. I swallowed, indecision warring before with a tightening of my shoulders I spoke up.

"Uncle Henry?" My voice was soft, almost hesitant and I inwardly cursed myself for it. I shouldn't be afraid of my own Uncle, but I couldn't help it. I've ignored him for the past two weeks as is…

He looked up, surprised before a smile stretched over his face. "Andrea, what do you need sweetheart?"

I lowered my eyes, refusing to catch his. "I… ah, well, I'm going out… I thought I should let someone know… since, well… since last time…" I trailed off, glancing up again.

Uncle Henry frowned, "You have your cell phone?"

"Yes, I do." I nodded, smiling slightly.

"Well, be careful. Be back by dinner, it's at seven." He said, giving me a quick smile.

I nodded again and backed away, pivoting on my heel and hurrying to the front door. As soon as I made it outside, I sighed in relief. That time I had gone running and met him which admittedly I haven't been out since… and I have been itching for a run, I had gotten in trouble when I'd gotten back. Aunt Leslie had not been pleased. I paused, considering, before shaking my head fiercely. No. I was not going for a run. I was going to walk… to, to explore.

'_What's to explore in Forks…?'_ My thoughts whispered snidely, and I scowled. True, but nonetheless I needed out because I suddenly felt suffocated. I'd walled myself up for the past week – again – and now was the time to break that habit. Straightening my spine, I made an effort to walk down the sidewalk and towards the road. I had no idea where I was going to go, but I figured I'd know when I got there.

I am officially screwed. In the wise words of Abi… Abigail, '_Darlin, you've got it bad._' And unfortunately, it is so true because at the moment I am standing and staring blankly at the General Store in La Push. How did I even get here? Well, it's this wonderful thing of me getting lost in my thoughts and becoming oblivious to everything which has been happening more and more lately. It's frustrating.

My eyes slid slowly away from the sign of the store, only to glance inside. It was pretty much empty, although it is a Saturday afternoon. Licking my suddenly dry lips, I shift my weight and turn to walk down the sidewalk again.

"Might as well explore it while I'm here…" I mutter under my breath, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets.

I was finding it difficult to place one foot in front of the other, because I really was sort of – just a little – terrified of running into –

"Hey!"

I froze, spinning around with wide eyes to spot the familiar form of the boy, no man, from the week before. I swallowed thickly, my chest suddenly feeling way to tight to be normal as he made his way towards me. There were two other boys with him, both Native American and both giants, and they were both staring at me. Shivering under their gaze, I jerked my eyes back to the guy I'd run into as he stopped in front of me.

He looked eager, and had an easygoing grin on his lips with his white teeth shining. '_How are his teeth so white? And jesus, are these guys on steroids or something? Or do they come giant-sized in La Push?_' I wondered silently.

"Hey… I'm sorry about last week. I didn't mean to scare you, are you okay?" He questioned his voice dropping into a low and soothing tone. He sounded… concerned and I felt my heart ache. I shivered, not liking this feeling at all even as I felt the panic start to rise and the fear curl in my lower abdomen.

"Um…" I shifted my gaze away, hesitant. "N-no, it's alright. I… I'm okay."

I stuttered. I never stuttered before, but this man made me nervous and scared and safe and…. I breathed through my nose, trying to calm my rapid heartbeat even as I glanced up again to catch his jade eyes. My words weren't the only thing to stutter then.

"Great! My name's Jacob Black, you can call me Jake." He grinned, his hands shoved into his denim shorts and that's when I noticed he was only wearing cutoffs and a white tank that clearly left little to imagination. I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry.

Unwillingly, my eyes lingered on his pecs for a moment before I nervously jerked them away. I felt the heat in my cheeks and the back of my neck when I looked up and saw his mischievous, _knowing_ eyes rest on me. His cheeky grin grew and he winked, which is when I grew completely mortified and stepped back.

His eyes widened and he spoke quickly, his words tumbling out in a rush. "Hey! Wait… Ah, what's your name?"

I hesitated, but before I could say anything a large hand landed on his shoulder followed by the sight of one of his two friends standing beside him and grinning at me. '_What is it with the grinning? Is everyone so damned perky?!_' I goggled. I was lost for words, seriously.

"Whose this Jakey?" The boy asked, wiggling his eyebrows and winking at me. I blushed and glanced away.

"I'm no one! No one, ah… I gotta go." I stuttered out in a hurry, quickly dodging around the two and walking as fast as I could. I had to sidestep their other friend, who looked intimidating while standing there with a look of growing annoyance. Before I could get far though, I felt a hand close over my upper arm – the heat of the hand was scorching and in the split second that it jerked me back I froze. It was an instant reaction, and as I heard Jacob's friend gruffly snap out a 'Wait' my reaction changed.

I tried to twist out of his grasp, my entire body shaking from the fear creeping up. My free hand rose and I lashed out with it, but he caught it and as I looked up I saw his shocked expression. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and his expression softened for a fraction of a second before I tried jerking away from him again – the fear far too large to ignore.

"Hey, calm down! I'm not going to hurt you!" He snapped out, but that just made it worse and I felt the incoming flashback come over me like a sonic boom.

"Paul! Paul, let her go!" I heard a voice growl out, but the growl was so _real_, sounding more doglike than human. The hand let me go abruptly and I was vaguely aware of Jacob coming closer. I scrambled backwards over the pavement, my eyes wide and my breathing labored. Tears ran down my cheeks as I whimpered at the haunting in front of me – it was not Jacob.

"No, no, no… please… please… stop…" I sobbed out and stumbled in my panic to get away. I grabbed at the pavement, knowing I was probably cutting my hands up even as I crab walked back as far as I could until I hit the side of the General Store building. "Please… no…go away."

He didn't touch me, but I could feel him crouch down in front of me. The heat radiating off of his body was easily felt, even as I cringed away from it. I heard him curse quietly, and was slightly aware of how he turned slightly away to snap something out to his friends. As soon as he did, I flinched backward as another choked sob escaped me. I clapped my hands over my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as they would go.

Why was this haunting me?! The feelings that had grabbed at me, kept me in their hold. I could feel how fast my heart beat, like a wild hummingbird and how my shaking grew stronger. The hands I held over my mouth to try and quell the sounds of my sobbing were shaking so hard that I could barely keep them held there. Bowing my head, so that the strands of my dark hair fell over me I stiffened when I felt a warm hand on my arm. Someone was talking to me, trying to bring me out of my agony.

The warm hand didn't squeeze, or move, it just sat there gently and the voice was soft and soothing. My shaking slowed as the pale green eyes left my memory, and I slowly became more aware of the growing flare-up around me. Jacob's friends were fending off the people around the General Store, who were trying to figure out what was going on. Jacob himself was… I opened my eyes slowly, glancing up from under my dark hair to meet with jade eyes. Jacob himself was trying to soothe me, his eyes looking so worried and pained as if what was happening to me was hurting him just as much.

I was confused. This man barely knew me, didn't know me, and here he was trying to help me. I shivered slightly; my shaking having all but stopped, and raised my head. Slowly, while biting my lower lip I lowered my hands from my face, still not letting my eyes drop from his. I was a little mortified, because who wouldn't be when they had a flashback in front of a couple of hot guys?

His hand left my arm and I stiffened, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable. Before I could even think about, before my mind even caught up to my body, I found myself snapping my hands out towards him in a blind panic. A quick, and sharp "No!" snapped out of my mouth as my hands latched onto him. He froze, his eyes widening slightly before he seemed to soften. His smile lit up my dark surroundings and I found myself relaxing in wonder and awe. I felt comfortable with him, even as he drew me into his warm arms.

I didn't even have the presence of mind to be embarrassed about how he basically had no shirt, and that I was pressing my clammy cheek up against his chest, only a thin tank in between me and his warm skin – right over his heart. I listened to the gently thrum of his heartbeat as he lifted me up and spoke to his friends. I didn't care and allowed myself to be soothed into a light doze, the flashback having taken quite a bit of energy out of me.

It wasn't like me, to trust a stranger like this, because for all I know he could be kidnapping me. I stiffened at that thought, but then relaxed just as quickly as if it were against my entire _being_ to even think about Jacob Black that way. What was wrong with me?

I came back to myself when we stopped moving, his voice was quiet as he spoke in my ear.

"Hey… are you okay now?"

Startled, I looked up and paused. He was… really close. Swallowing thickly, I nodded and then glanced around. We were in a living room, and it was just him and I. He had sat down on the couch and I was, here I blushed, in his lap. Slowly, I crawled off of him and curled up on the other end before looking back at Jacob. I barely caught the look of disappointment before it disappeared and in it's place came concern.

"Thanks…" I said quietly, now embarrassed beyond belief at what had happened. I can't believe I freaked out like that. It was all a noisy, painful blur really but I knew I freaked.

He grinned, "Sure, sure."

I smiled slightly at that reply even as I found myself caught with his eyes. His face changed then, to one of concern and annoyance.

"I'm sorry about Paul… " He said, and seeing my confused expression he hurried on. "He was the one who grabbed you." He grimaced at that, obviously remembered what had happened. I blushed, looking away. "Paul's a bit… " Here he trailed off and didn't finish. I finished for him.

"Temperamental?" I echoed quietly, and he grinned.

"Yea, that works." He said.

I hesitated, then spoke up. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to freak out on you guys… "

"Hey, hey, it's not problem." Jake said, giving a half shrug. I noticed he had shifted sideways, so his entire body was facing me. I smiled again.

"My name is Andrea Lane."

His entire form lit up, his grin almost blinding in intensity even as he shifted slightly forward. His dark jade eyes captivated me, and I found my breath catching in my throat.

"Andrea…" I almost didn't catch it, it was so quiet. He breathed my name out as if it was a blessing, and I shivered from the sound of my name passing through his lips. Damn me, if I wasn't drawn to this guy. Abigail would freak.

I glanced away, then back with a small smile. "I guess you want to know why it happened huh?" I questioned quietly, somehow _wanting_ to tell him.

He frowned, "You don't have to."

I shifted closer, hesitantly, until I was sitting right next to him. He watched my movements carefully, as if afraid I'd hurt myself or get scared and bolt. Once I settled next to him, I tilted my head back on the couch to catch his eyes again, so close to his scorching heat that I sighed softly and relaxed. With a lazy, content smile I spoke up.

"I want to Jacob Black."

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**I know, I know. Andrea warmed up to Jake REALLY fast - but c'mon think about it. He imprinted on her, and I imagine the imprintee feels it too in someway. She feels unusually comfortable around him, and don't worry it probably will raise some red flags for her, but at the moment she trusts him. He helped her when he didn't know her, didn't try anything, and she is a little confused still from the flashback. She'll most likely freak out after she tells him things - not sure how much she will tell him. She isn't THAT trusting.**

**Review! Criticism! I don't think I got Jake right in this chapter....**

**xoxo  
Jeza**


	5. Chapter 5

**Story Title: **Recovery

**Author: **BluJeza

**Summary:** She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

**Warning(s): **Pretty dang tame here. Beware of cursing, and mention of rape and abuse. Not detailed, at all.

**Disclaimer: **Do you really think I would be writing fanfiction if I owned twilight? No, I would be out snuggling with my wolves and driving Edward Cullen insane by continuiosly singing "The Song That Never Ends"

**A/N: **So I'm a little happier with this chapter than I am the last one. Last chapter I thought was lame, but whatever. I tried to make this just a tiny bit longer than normal. Anyways, there is a poll up on my profile asking about the Cullens and Bella and I would really, **really** like your input so please vote. Um... besides that... Yea, my A/N is going to be really short this chapter. It's 5AM, I'm tired but awake... stupid dreams... Anywho, enjoy! And review!

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Recap:

_I glanced away, then back with a small smile. "I guess you want to know why it happened huh?" I questioned quietly, somehow __wanting__ to tell him._

_He frowned, "You don't have to."_

_I shifted closer, hesitantly, until I was sitting right next to him. He watched my movements carefully, as if afraid I'd hurt myself or get scared and bolt. Once I settled next to him, I tilted my head back on the couch to catch his eyes again, so close to his scorching heat that I sighed softly and relaxed. With a lazy, content smile I spoke up._

_"I want to Jacob Black."_

It was silent for a few moments after I spoke, and I suddenly found my mouth going dry. As soon as I felt the words leave my lips, I knew I might be making a mistake. My heart had leapt into my throat, my tongue swelling in an effort to stop me from voicing my agony. Was this really such a good idea? I didn't know, but what I did know was that I _needed_ this. I needed Jacob. I didn't know why, or how, or even if it was a good thing. In a few seconds, this man beside me who was giving me a patient, _loving_ look would be backing up in horror as I shoved the details down his throat.

I shuddered lightly, only a slight tremor wracking my frame. Looking down, my eyes averted so I wouldn't have to see his disgust plainly on his refined face, I swallowed. It didn't help my dry mouth.

"Hey… "He said softly, his voice coated in concern.

I glanced up, to see those dark eyes fixated on me and filled with… worry? I didn't understand. I'd only just met him for the second time today, and already he was opening me up like a flower in bloom. _How?_ That was the only thought on my mind, as muddled as my mind is at the moment.

I didn't let him continue, fearful that he would stop me before I could even get started. I _needed_ this. I knew if he tried to stop me again, I would wither and curl up back into my unhealthy cocoon. I would shut the world out again, and any progress I'd made would be meaningless.

"I was kidnapped." I blurted out. He froze, his entire form stiffening. I glanced up quickly, noting how he'd suddenly curled both hands into tight fists and how his eyes now focused clearly on my face. The heat rose in my cheeks and I jerked my eyes back to my lap.

"It was a couple of months ago. Abi… My friend and I were out in town, it was a Friday evening. We had done this a lot before, so it wasn't anything weird. We were safe." I paused, hesitant before rushing on. I couldn't let him get a word in. I'd stop if he did.

"It happened really fast. One second we were joking around and laughing, the next we were pulled into a van. I fought, and Abby did too. She fought harder. They knocked her out first. There… there was b-blood." I choked on the last word. My shoulders had inched forward, my arms crossed over my stomach to where my hands were tightened onto my hips. He was shaking beside me, trembling so hard I could feel the couch moving. I ignored him, my words rushing out too fast for me to stop. I couldn't stop.

"I screamed and then they h-hit m-m-me. I blacked out. When I woke u-up… they had me t-tied to a pole, in the corner of a room. It was dark… I didn't know it at the time, but it was a b-basem-ment." Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes and the trembling from Jacob had gotten stronger, so I closed my eyes tightly and shifted away slightly from his heat which was strangely getting hotter. Swallowing back a sob, I spat out my next words.

"They were already there. Abigail was first. She tried s-so h-h-hard. I wasn't aloud to l-look away, they wouldn't let m-me. They raped her Jake." I whisper the last four words, not even realizing I'd shortened his name. He growled beside me and I jumped, glancing up quickly to see him with his eyes tightly closed. His teeth were slightly bare, his jaw clenched tight and he was breathing heavily through his nose. It was easy to see that his shoulders were vibrating with anger, like he was pulsing with it. It scared me.

"Did they…?" He managed to gasp out, his voice was deep almost to the point of a growl. I swallowed, averting my eyes. "No…" I whispered out. "Not me, just her. She always took their attention from me."

I sniffled, hugging myself tighter as I hunched over. My lips trembled with the effort to keep my tears at bay, it didn't work. "They never raped me. I… I was only hit and cut… a-and…" I couldn't go on. If I said the next part, I'd throw up. Sure, they had never _raped_ me but you don't have to be _raped_ to be sexually assaulted. I suppose, what they made me do…. It would be considered a form of rape, but I was not going to repeat it to him. I wasn't going to _tell_ him.

"What Andrea? _What…?_" He growled out, his voice stressing the last word with an almost desperate plea to tell me nothing else _had _happened.

I shook my head quickly, too terrified and too disgusted by myself to say another word. He stood abruptly, vibrating from anger and I flinched back. As I leaned over myself, my head almost buried between my knees, I heard him pacing back and forth.

Jacob P.O.V.

I could barely contain myself. My imprint. _My_ Andrea had been through hell, had watched… I shook furiously, gnashing my teeth together as I felt the red fogged over my eyes. I knew I was scaring her, and as much as that killed me I couldn't _stop_. A snarl rose up in my throat, and I quickly swallowed it down. Fuck. _Control, Jake. Control yourself!_ My pace quickened.

I knew there had to be more to what she had said, that couldn't be all there was. I glanced over at her and froze. I felt my fury dissipate quickly, as instead concern for my imprint rose up and just about drowned me. She looked terrified and _broken_. If I were in a laughing mood, I'd find it fucking hilarious that I always got stuck with the girls that need to be _fixed_. What was I, a fucking magnet?

I quickly knelt down in front of her, my hands reaching up and pausing next to her hunched shoulders. I hesitated. I didn't want to scare her anymore but I…

"Andrea…?" I ground out as softly as I could. She flinched and I grimaced. _Don't scare her Black!_ My mind shouted at me. "Andrea… look at me sweetheart."

Her beautiful eyes rose up to meet me, though her face was still pointed down. I broke inside, seeing those eyes full of fear, disgust, and self-hate. At the same time as I was breaking from her pain, I was getting angry. If I ever found out who… I focused back on her. My hands settled on her upper arms gently, and even as she tensed I soothed her with a soft coo in the back of my throat. Her eyes widened at the sound, because it was obviously not a human sound. I inwardly cringed at how wolf like I'd become. Seriously dude, it is kind of fucked up.

"I'm not angry at you." It was easier to get out this time around and I became amazed as the tension seemed to drain from her. Was she really drawn to me that much already? I watched in awe but quickly came back to myself, and with a heavy sigh I shook my head. "I'm not going to say it's okay Andrea, because it's not."

She flinched again and I cursed myself. _Great Black!_ I smoothed my hands down her arms and then back up again, watching as she shivered slightly. I knew it was because of how hot I ran. After all, we ran at a 108.9 regularly.

"It _will_ get better. It will." I stressed quietly, trying to keep her beautiful eyes on mine. I could see the struggle she was putting up and it was killing me. I steeled myself, breathing in deeply I pulled her forward gently. She came willingly and I felt my heart lighten as I leaned back, pulling her into my lap. I settled my hand on her hair, stroking it softly as she melted into me. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest as I held her, because despite the circumstances I still couldn't believe this beautiful, broken girl was allowing me to hold her. I could have howled for joy.

Her hands grips at my arms, so tight that her knuckles were turning white. I smoothed the hand not on her hair over her back, leaning down at the same moment to rest my cheek against the top of her head. "I promise you Andrea, it will get better. Let me _heal you._"

She stiffened and I held my breath, hoping to God she didn't turn me down. At this point the leeches didn't matter, my pack didn't matter, the fact that everything had been turned on its head didn't matter because the only thing that _did_ matter right now was this girl in my lap that _needed_ me.

Slowly, she tilted her head up to look at me and my mouth ran dry. _Out of the gutter, out of the gutter, out of the….dammit!_ I couldn't help it. Her eyes were beautiful and shining at me with all of this trust that I desperately wanted and she fit so well against me. Those lips of hers were pouty, calling to me and begging to be devoured. I jerked out of my daydream when she spoke, realizing I'd leaned towards her to the point where I could feel her breath on my lips and practically taste her sweet aroma.

"Don't hurt me."

It was all she said, and it was something I could promise and keep no matter what. I stroked my fingers across her cheek, tilting her chin up a little more so her eyes were meeting mine. I needed her to know how serious I was.

"Honey, I will _never_ hurt you. It's impossible."

My breath caught in my throat at the smile that lit up her face. Her eyes were sparkling at me and I couldn't help but hold my breath a little longer. Who needed air anyways? Psh, I could live and breathe Andrea. I tightened my hold on her and found myself relaxing fully into her as she ducked her head, nestling against my chest. My wolf was howling in victory, rattling his cages as he howled over and over again _She's mine, she's mine!_ And I couldn't help but agree. She is mine. No one will ever hurt my girl again, not as long as I'm around.

I swore this silently, breathing in the scent of her as I curled my fingers through her short locks of brown hair. It helped that I would always be able to find her by scent alone. My girl smelled _divine_ and it was infinitely easy to know where she is. I take it back what I said before, I am so fucking _proud_ of my heightened sense of smell.

Andrea P.O.V

_Journal,_

_It's March 5__th__. It's also bedtime, well… it was bedtime 3 hours ago but here I am sitting on the toilet lid in the bathroom down the hall. I couldn't sleep again. Figures. I'm sort of freaking out, I mean… I let a complete stranger comfort me and I even told him things… and yea, it wasn't a lot of detail like the police reports but still… I opened up on my own without being forced. _

_I can't believe I did that. I don't even know Jacob. Yea, he's hot. He's also kind, and sweet, and protective and warm and… Oh god, what is happening to me? Fuck. I think I like him. I can't like him! I don't want to. Jesus… what am I going to do? Okay – breathe. _

_Right. So, I like Jacob Black. There, I admitted it. That's as far as I'm going. I am NOT going back to La Push, no way no how. Forget it. Nu uh. Right… so…_

_After everything, you know – me spilling my guts – he kind of just held me for awhile. It was nice. Ugh… okay, so anyways after that he took me home. I didn't talk to him, even though he tried to get me to talk. I almost caved too! That boy is persistent! But no, I was too embarrassed. It was horrible. To be honest, I kind of miss him…. Oh god… _

_Change of subject. I start Forks High in the morning and I'm a little nervous, then again who wouldn't be when your me? By now, everyone has got to have some idea of why I moved here. I know Angela wouldn't have told anyone, she's good about that but my Aunt and Uncle had to have mentioned a reason… They don't lie. It's not in them to lie, which sucks sometimes._

_So, Forks High in the morning… Angela said that her friends are a little overbearing but that I would like Bella. According to her, Bella is pretty shy and has been withdrawn for a while since her boyfriend and his family left town. Yea, why will I like her again? She's obviously hung up on the guy, sorry but get over it. I will never __ever__ get so hung up on a guy that I lose all sense of myself….._

_Knock on wood – I probably just jinxed myself. Fuck. Okay, I have to go – bed… hopefully there will be no nightmares. I can't deal right now._

Breathing deeply, I closed my journal and clipped the pen onto the front cover. Placing my head in my hands, I rested my elbows on my knees and sighed. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing my fingers over my face. I was so exhausted. With a tired groan, I grabbed my journal and lifted myself to my feet. It took willpower to avoid looking at the mirror as I passed it, but as my hand hit the doorknob I suddenly paused.

I bit my lip, contemplating because all of the sudden I had the unexplainable urge to glance up and take a look at myself for the first time in what felt like forever. But could I handle what I would see? I knew without any doubt I was a mess – but I could feel myself getting better too and I didn't even know how that had happened. I hesitated a moment longer, feeling the cool metal of the doorknob beneath my palm slowly heat the longer I held it. Finally, I twisted it and stepped out fixing my gaze firmly in front of me. I was not ready yet – at all.

I slipped down the hallway silently, the door to Angela's room only creaking slightly. Holding my breath, I glanced over towards my cousin in her bed and then let myself relax. Good, I hadn't disturbed her. Quietly, I crossed the room and placed my journal on the bedside table before lifting the thick quilt and slipping into the bed. I remained stiff, unable to let myself relax as I stared at the ceiling for a moment. Even though I'd written in the journal, I still couldn't get my mind to shut off. It was easier though – to avoid the past and that I held onto like a lifeline.

Sighing softly, I rolled over to face the wall with my back to the rest of the room and curled my hands under my cheek. I was not looking forward to Forks High at all – nope, not at all but I knew it had to be done. It is my senior year after all – even though I should technically be a junior. Still though, I had a feeling this was going to be torture for me. Another sigh, and I closed my eyes and tried to let myself relax – if only I could get a few hours of sleep at least.

Morning – Andrea P.O.V

I ran my fingers through my hair for the millionth time, my eyes gliding over to look at Angela walking beside me. She gave me an amused yet calm smile, a small laugh escaping her at the look of my nerves on my face. I'm sure I did look a nervous mess, my stomach had been acting wonky ever since I woke. I could barely even eat breakfast because of it.

"It'll be fine Andrea. You worry too much." Her soft voice interjected my thoughts, an amused tone underlying it. I scoffed and removed my fluttering hands from my sides, instead crossing my arms over my torso and tucking my hands under each arm. I took a deep breath, glancing ahead to see if we were there yet. We almost were. The bad thing about all of this, besides the nerves of course, is the fact that Angela and I have to walk. Angela doesn't own a car, and since I don't either… Luckily, the Weber's home is close enough to the school that it's only a 15 or 20 minute walk.

"I can't help it Ange. I… Does anyone… know?" My voice cracked in the middle, then trailed off. I glanced over at her when she sighed softly, seeing the sad quirk of her lips.

"No, but they do know you moved here because your Dad sent you. I'd be prepared for rumors." Then she turned towards me with a small and sympathetic smile. I grimaced.

"Great. Just what I need…. they're all going to stare aren't they?

"Yes. I'll try and fend Jess and Mike off, but there isn't a guarantee about Lauren." She said, a frown crossing her lips as her brows furrowed in what seemed to be concern. She glanced over at me, hesitant. "Lauren can be really mean. Just… watch out for her."

I sighed, "No problem. I plan on steering clear of most people Ange."

Her frown deepened and she paused, her hand reaching out to gently tug me to a stop. I looked down, suddenly embarrassed that she would be scolding me for this. I knew Angela, and it is exactly something she would do.

"Andrea… You can't hide away. Please don't." There was a pleading note to her voice and I immediately felt horrible. Angela had done everything in her power to help me through this and here I was being… well, being me. I grimaced and turned my head away before replying, picking up the walk to school again. We were almost to the parking lot.

"Sorry. I know and I'm sorry… it's just… It's hard." It was hard to admit too.

She had let go of my arm already, and as we took our first steps into the parking lot she smiled and nodded.

"I know. I'm here for you though, okay?"

I flashed her a quick, almost impish smile and nodded. "Of course Ange."

"Angela! Hey!" Someone was shouting across the parking lot, and I snapped my head up to see just who it was that knew my cousin. Great, friends already? I hadn't even gotten my schedule. This was perfect, note the sarcasm.

Angela smiled back, lifting her hand to give a slight finger wave. She didn't reply until the girl got to us.

"Hi Jessica."

Jessica was a small busty brunette, with pretty brown eyes and had look about her that just screamed _Gossip Queen_. I inwardly cringed. She gave me a curious look, rocking back slightly on her heels as looked back and forth between Angela and I.

I mumbled a soft, "Hi."

Jessica beamed, "Hi! You must be Andrea! Everyone's been talking about you, you know? You're the talk of the school. All the attention is on you now, instead of Bella." She sounded slightly bitter towards the end, and not just about the Bella part either. Angela shot me an apologetic look, but I just gave her a slight smile to let her know it was fine. Jessica was obviously the type of girl that thrived on attention, who was I to take that from her?

"Oh please, be my guest and take the attention away from me. It would be better for you anyways."

Her eyes lit up in pleasure at my stroking of her ego, while her smile became wider if that were possible.

"Hey, thanks!"

Angela interrupted then, "Jess… I have to show Andy to the office. See you first period?"

"Oh! Oh right, ya. I'll see you then. See you at lunch Andrea!" She chirped, before turning and hurrying towards a group of boys. I watched her go before turning to Angela with a horrified look.

"Please don't tell me they are all like her?" I almost cringed at the pleading note in my voice. Angela laughed, linking her arm through mine as she started forward to show me to the office and get my schedule.

"Not as bad as Jess, no. She's excitable."

I scowled and couldn't help but mutter, "Obviously."

Angela laughed again, squeezing my arm gently. I sighed as I climbed up the steps beside her, my thoughts already whirling at a mile a minute. The day was not looking promising at all, and I was strangely dreading the rest of it. I also really wanted to see Jake again. This time I did cringe at my thoughts, my grip on Angela's arm tightening briefly.

She glanced over, curious. "Andrea? Are you ok?"

I jumped, giving her a startled look before I blushed. With a sheepish smile on my lips, I shrugged. "Sorry, lost in thought. I'll be okay… I just don't want to be here."

Angela looked sympathetic for a second before it cleared. I hadn't noticed we'd already entered the building, but obviously we had as Angela pushed open a door and spoke up. "Well, here's the office. I can wait for you if you want?"

She seemed anxious though, and I glanced at the clock. My eyes widened and I turned quickly to my cousin, "I didn't know it was so late! No, I'll be fine. Go on to class."

"Are you sure?" She looked worried.

"I'm sure. I'll be fine Ange, no worries. See you later?" I reassured, even going as far as to give her a huge smile that probably made me look retarded if the ache in my jaw was any indication. She gave me a dubious look before smiling.

"Alright. See you later."

After she left, I turned towards the woman behind the desk. She was looking at me with a raised brown behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses. Her eyes were a curious blue, but were also judging as she eyed me carefully. Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and stepped forward to start my first official day in Forks High.

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**I probably could have gone on a bit further...hm...**

**Review!**

**xoxo  
Jeza**


	6. Easter Memory

**A/N: Yo! Sorry it's been so long. College has been really hectic and I'm working my BUTT off. But, it's Easter Break and so you know what that means? YEA! A new chapter, no... this is not a new chapter. It's just a little easter...bonus...thingy... A look into the life of Abigail and Andrea before everything went down.**

**Anywho, I apologize for making you guys wait. I can feel the frustration, believe me, I know. It's coming - don't worry. I have a little under half of the next chapter complete, I'm just... trying to get my muse working. My mojo has all but run out from college. Sooo...**

**There have only been 4 people to vote on the poll in my profile... I could use more input guys! It will help me decide which way to take this story, believe me - there are a couple of options right now! Help me cut down on those. :) **

**Next chapter is coming, in the meantime... Enjoy an Easter Memory of Andrea and Abigail.**

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"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Andy! Andy, Andy!!!"

Laughing, I found myself being swung around by an entirely too excited Abigail. Her hands were clamped down on mine like iron shackles and she was bouncing up and down while spinning, how she stayed standing I don't know. Laughter soon turned into giggling as Abigail let me go and spun around, her arms out wide as she squealed in what was definitely excitement.

"You will NEVER believe it! Never!"

With a grin, I cocked my hip out and settled my hand on it, my other hand rising to cup my chin as I displayed a mockingly thoughtful pose.

"Hmm… let's see… could it be…" My eyes lit mischieviously, even as Abigail stared at me with excitement pouring from her very veins, "… that Michael Conners asked Abigail to the Easter Bash?"

She squealed again and jumped up with an excited scream of, 'YES!' while throwing her arms out and to the sky, as if she were reaching for the clouds.

"I can't believe it! I didn't even think he knew I existed!" Suddenly, she froze and spun on the spot her eyes wide and her mouth dropping open in a horrified gasp.

"Oh no! Andrea!" She moaned out, her hands coming to cover her face. I gave her an amused look, tilting my head to the side before, with a laugh, I launched myself at her and swallowed her in a hug.

"Oh don't worry, we'll go find you a dress."

"No!" She gasped out, eyes comically wide. "Not a dress! It's a costume party!"

I blinked, slowly then grinned and drew away with a devilish look.

"So, we'll dress you as a playboy bunny."

Silence.

Hysterical giggles suddenly broke out as she covered her mouth again, her eyes crinkling up at the corners as her shoulders shook. I grinned, turning and found myself sauntering away with a smug sway to my hips.

"Okay! But it has to BLUE! I will not be seen in pink!" She cried, running after me and looping her arm through mine. I paused, and then continued with a grin.

"Honey, it's a playboy bunny… there really isn't going to be much to the costume." I drawled out in my best impression of a snotty cheerleader.

Abigail giggled again and leaned her head against my shoulder, then she sighed.

"I can't believe it. Michael Connors… " She sighed again and I rolled my eyes.

"Abby…" I started, "your impossible."

She giggled.

"Let's go find that bunny outfit. Onward mi amiga."

I rolled my eyes.

_Easter_.


	7. Forks High

**Story Title: **Recovery

**Author: **BluJeza

**Summary: **She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

**Warning(s): **Swearing

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight. Shame.

**A/N: **Okay! Finally! I know, I know it took FOREVER! I apologize again. There isn't any Jacob this chapter, it's all Andrea. She sort of has a revelation in here, and it is setting her on the path to Jake and acceptance but it's not happening yet! I'm getting tired of writing her morose and depressed but, what can I do? Like I said in the beginning, that's what I get for choosing to write a tortured character. Hope I pulled Angela, Jessica, and Lauren's characters off in this. Let me know if anything seems off. Anywho, enjoy!

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So my first day at Forks High was not going so well. It wasn't because of all the attention on me, because let me say there is a lot of attention on me. No, it is nothing as simple as that. I gave a huff of breath, a strand of dark hair flying up before settling down again across my cheek. I brushed it out of the way with one hand, my other one settling onto my cocked hip. Eyes narrowing, I took in the sight of one Lauren Mallory standing directly in my path with an air of arrogance. _Jesus…_

She sneered at me, her manicured nails rising to brush off some invisible lint from her shirt. Was she serious? Really, this girl was so stereotypical. I sighed softly, glancing away to look for Angela who was _nowhere to be seen_. Mallory's high pitched, nails on a chalkboard voice brought me out of my searching thoughts and into the present – reluctantly.

"Heard you were sent here because your Daddy didn't want you anymore _Lane_." Her grin was malicious and I shivered slightly, shifting my weight backwards in an effort to distance myself from this girl. What did she have against me? I didn't know, but I sure as hell didn't appreciate it. Abigail would kick her _ass_ for being such a bitch. I flinched at the thought of Abby, unfortunately Mallory saw this as a reaction to her words and her grin widened, eyes glinting with a dark glee.

"Hit a sore spot, huh? What happened then…? Get knocked up?" Her eyes snapped up and down my figure and I stiffened, scowling as I crossed my arms – a defensive gesture I couldn't repress.

"Not that it's any of your _business_ Airhead, but no." I snapped back, my voice quivering slightly. Did I mention how much I absolutely hated confrontations? I glanced around again for Angela, or hell – even Jessica would do – but no such luck. My shoulders tensed when Mallory took a sudden step towards me, sneer planted firmly on her face. I had a brief moment of amusement at that, because it seriously looked as if she was constipated. _Never thought it could happen…._ I thought, amused.

"_Airhead?!_" She hissed, her eyes narrowing. "Who do you think you are? Go crawl back home, no one wants you here you filthy little whore."

My eyes widened as I drew in a sharp breath, teeth clenching as my jaw locked at the words spewed from her mouth.

"_Look at this boys! The filthy little whore likes it!"_

I couldn't stop the memories from piling upon me. It was like a fierce heat wave during summer, the only thing you could possibly do was to drown yourself in water. My heart clenched tightly in my chest, feeling as if someone were squeezing it as hard as they could. It hurt but I couldn't stop it.

"_Whore, get over here."_

"_Yea, look at your friend there. She's as filthy as you are, princess."_

I shook myself from the vision quickly, realizing my breaths were coming in short gasps and that the crowd had grown. I grasped my sides, my arms crossed over my torso as I glanced around in panic. Mallory had taken a slight step back in surprise at my reaction, but had just as quickly stepped forward again with sneer firmly in place. I swallowed thickly, horrified by the shaking I could feel traveling up my spine. Unnatural and suppressed fear was causing the sweat to break out on my forehead, and my hands to tighten around my sides to the point where my knuckles were white. I knew I would bruise. I just wished in this moment that my reactions were not on display for the whole school to see, I knew it would be around by the end of the day. Knowing my luck, which has not held since the… since it had happened then news would circulate by lunchtime.

"Andrea! Lauren what are you doing!?"

Angela. Thank god. I breathed a sigh of relief, even as I felt my cousin wrap an arm around my shoulder. I felt like such a kicked puppy, it was pathetic. Shamefaced, I glanced down at the floor as Angela stood up to Lauren – which wasn't like my sweet cousin at all. Jessica, I realized, had come with her a long with another girl who was rather pale and wraithlike – as if she wasn't all there.

"Oh don't sweat it Angela, we were just having a friendly chat." Mallory sneered, glancing at me before looking away with feigned disinterest. "Now, I have class to get to." She spun on her heel and flounced off, waving over her shoulder as she went. Angela released me, a tense set to her shoulders as she watched Lauren walk away before turning to me.

"Andy? You okay?" Her voice was full of concern and I relaxed slightly, a small smile slipping past my defense.

"I'm okay Ange, no big… Just memories."

She gave me a concerned look, but nodded all the same , "If you're sure… hey, this is Bella. Bella, this is my cousin Andrea."

The wraithlike girl let her eyes drift to me, though she didn't smile and there wasn't a whole lot of recognition there. It was almost familiar, the look in her eyes and I gave her an uncertain smile in return. Nothing, just a nod.

"Hi Bella." I said, figuring I should say something even if she didn't. She said nothing, just gave another nod before looking away. I shot Angela a confused look, even as she gave me a worried one in return. 'I'll explain later.' She mouthed, and I nodded. If she said so.

"So, like… what did Lauren say to you?" Jessica questioned.

I stiffened, my shoulder feeling unbearably tight as I shrugged lightly. Jessica had the look on her face that was just begging for gossip, as if I should be privileged to air all my dirty laundry just so she could spread it around. In that instant, I felt a slight resentment towards the girl. Why was Angela friends with her even? Then again, knowing the small choice of people for Ange to hang with, I supposed Jessica was one of the better picks.

"It doesn't matter Jess. Right?" Angela spoke up, her voice so cheerfully fake it made me sick. I grimaced but nodded along with it.

"Oh, well… I guess. It's just Lauren doesn't say things to just anyone." Jessica looked thoughtful, a curious look adorning her face as she turned to look the way Mallory had gone. Suddenly beaming, she turned back to us with a bounce in her step. "Well, I'm going to go see what's up!"

"Wait, Jessica!" Angela burst out, but it was a little too late. Jessica had already hurried off towards Lauren and I frowned. Glancing once at Bella, who still seemed a little oblivious though there was a very _slight_ air of interest, I spoke up.

"No worries Ange… but I have to ask…. Who chooses your friends?" I questioned. I'm sure I looked disgusted and amused all at once, if the look on Angela's face was anything to go by.

Sheepishly, she shrugged while looping her arm through mine.

"Jessica is okay. Lauren…. I try to steer clear of." She wasn't defensive but practical and I grimaced.

"Guess there isn't a lot to choose from, huh?"

Angela laughed slightly and nodded, the sheepish look returning as she maneuvered us into a walk to our next class. Bella took that moment to suddenly wander off without a word with a lost look. I watched her go with a frown, strangely not all concerned.

"What's with her?" I wondered aloud, craning my neck around to watch her leave.

"Oh…" Angela's voice was soft, and I glanced over to see her sporting a concerned frown, "Bella has been… well, kind of dead. You see, she was dating a Cullen and then they just… left. She's been pretty broken up about it."

I knew she wouldn't say anymore so I just nodded. The girl was broken up over a guy of all things, and some of it I understood. I could understand angst from a bad breakup, but for her to be acting half dead because of it? I couldn't understand it. It just didn't make sense. Frowning, I shrugged half heartedly and let go of Angela as we entered the English classroom.

Once we sat, I turned my body towards her. She was setting her things out on her desk, like a good geek and I smiled with amusement. Shaking my head slightly, I spoke up.

"What do you know about the guys down at La Push?"

Immediately, I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks as horror flooded through me. I did _not_ just ask that. But I did, as I saw Angela turn towards me with a confused but adorably mischievous look. I averted my eyes quickly, staring down at the floor in sudden interest. Huh, would you look at that… that scuff mark looked strangely like a bird.

"Why? Have you been down there already? I know you've been for runs, Mom says you have."

I jerked back to attention and tilted my head up to look at her through my side swept bangs. She looked amused and curious. I swallowed, realizing that my cousin was onto me but hell at least one of us was because I had no idea what made me ask that. I was so going for asking about Bella. Shrugging slightly, I turned away from her with my face feeling hot.

"I dunno…" I mumbled, playing with my fingers as I shifted in my seat so I was facing forward.

"Okay, something is going on. Spill!"

I hesitated for a brief moment before sighing audibly and sinking further down into my seat like a scolded child.

"It's just… I met a few people… and, well… they were nice. I guess." I glanced up, to see if she was buying my bullshit only to see her giving me _that_ look. The same look that Aunt Leslie got when she knew someone was bullshitting her and that she would get the truth one way or another. Swallowing, with my mouth feeling suddenly dry, I blushed again.

"Okay. Fine. I met someone named Jacob Black. He was nice…" I trailed off, turning my head away to stare stubbornly at the wall. Angela shifted in her seat, and I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see her looking very interested and _worried. _I held my breath in preparation for her speech and then let it out in relief when the teacher called attention to the class Not quite 'Saved by the bell' but definitely saved by the Teach.

Angela shot me a look that promised the conversation was not over, and I hunched down into my desk wishing I could disappear. I vaguely wondered how fast I could vanish right after class before she caught me, but like I said I really had the worst luck. As I tried to tune into the teacher, my mind flashed to the subject of our conversation. I wondered how Jacob was doing, what he was doing right now… was he in school?

Jerking out of my thoughts, I felt horrified. I was _not_ going there! One time thing, one and I couldn't see him again. I'd told a stranger of all things what had happened, admittedly not all of what happened but I was trying to forget most of it. The point is that I could not see Jacob Black again. I could not. It was too mortifying the second time around, imagine what I'd do or say to make myself seem even _more_ pathetic the third time around? And I can only imagine what his friends think of me, especially considering I freaked out because of his friend Paul.

No, there was no seeing Jacob Black again. It was for the best. But then…. Why, with the thought of never seeing him again, did that make me feel like my heart was being torn to shreds?

Class ended far too soon and as I stood, packing up my books into my shoulder bag I knew it was only a matter of time before Angela cornered me. I had just finished zipping up my bag when I turned to find Angela waiting for me with the patented Weber 'Tell Me™' look. My shoulders stiffened as I hefted my bag higher onto my shoulder, grimacing when her look deepened. I caved.

"Okay! Fine… but can we talk about it where people can't hear?" I glanced around the emptying classroom with annoyance. I really didn't want anyone overhearing this conversation, seeing as how I'd really like it if no one at this school ever figured out why exactly I moved to Forks. Angela smiled, although it was definitely worried, as she looped her arm through mine and tugged me out the door.

"Alright. You know I'm just worried about you, right Andy?" She questioned, shooting me a sideways look.

I sighed, nodding. "I know. I appreciate, really. But… can you not worry so much? _Please_?"

She frowned, "I'll try."

"That's all I ask Ange."

TIME SKIP

Lunch at Forks High was loud. It was the only word I could really use to explain it. It was also crowded and the table Angela had dragged us to was full of obnoxious morons who thought they'd quiz me on my life story. A boy named Mike, who had Jessica on his arm, and a boy named Eric sat across from myself and Angela. Thankfully, Lauren Mallory was off at some other lunch table. I spent the entire lunch fending off Eric's creepy advances, wondering what was up with Bella who was sitting nearby at a table to herself, and desperately hoping Mike would stop giving me those 'interested' looks.

It was torture, and it dragged on for 45 miserable minutes. As soon as the bell rang, I practically leapt from my seat to escape. Leaving Angela at the mercy of the others made me feel almost bad, but my cousin had been dealing with those interrogators for her entire high school career so I didn't feel _that_ bad. After the slip up that morning where I mentioned Jacob, Angela didn't ask again and hopefully by the time school ended she will have forgotten it. Though, knowing my luck it wouldn't hold true. I peered up at the nearest clock and sighed, I had two minutes to grab my books and hurry to History. I wasn't looking forward to it.

History… dragged. For that matter, so did Biology. I was just glad the school day had ended, and I vaguely wondered if I could convince Aunt Leslie to let me skip the rest of the year as I waited for Angela. I didn't have to wait long.

"Spill." Was the first word out of her mouth as she stepped up beside me. I froze, and wondered at my luck. With a painful grimace, and hoping she wouldn't be a mother hen because God knew I had plenty with Aunt Leslie, I answered.

"Really, there isn't a lot to say…." I trailed off as we left the parking lot, Angela waving to one of her friends as they called out to her. "I went for a run, and kind of saw him by the La Push General Store… they were a group and, well… I sort of had a flashback?" I finished weakly, knowing it sounded more like a question than a statement.

Angela shot me a look of concern, drifting closer to me as we walked. Her hand reached out and grasped my upper arm, "What happened?"

I shrugged lightly, looking away with a tense set of my jaw. The trees here were really pretty… "He made his friends back off and helped me out… Next thing I know, I'm waking up on a couch and he is sitting there…"

Angela's eyes widened and she breathed in sharply, "Andrea… "

I cut her off, frowning as I looked down at my traveling feet. "It was fine Ange. Jake was… nice, and I was so messed up but he was really… patient?" I hesitated, then continued, my voice quivering slightly. "I felt safe. I never feel safe, haven't since before…"

I stopped talking, feeling my throat close up and the ache in my chest grow. Angela tightened her grip on my arm and leaned against me slightly. Her warmth was comforting, but it was nothing like…. _Stop it! Don't do that._ I scolded myself silently.

"Maybe…." Angela started, her voice soft, "Maybe he can help you?"

Silence stretched on after her comment, as I mulled it over in my head. Could Jacob Black help me? I didn't think anyone could, especially before I'd met him but…. I had felt so safe and comfortable, and he was nice. The horror of what happened seemed almost nonexistent when he was around; I had noticed it even upon the first time we'd met. Sometimes, at night when I try to sleep but fail, I wonder if what had happened will haunt me for the rest of my life. People who get kidnapped, well… I could say I hadn't gotten the worst of it but it didn't matter. It was still bad, and it still hurt. Psychologically, I know I am screwed up. Then again, I have to wonder if I won't be myself again someday. Because, to be honest… I don't want to live life terrified and paranoid.

As we approached the house, walking up the drive I pulled my arm away from Angela and reached out to her, touching her shoulder to stop her. She turned to me, curious and concerned as she bit down on her bottom lip. I pursed my own lips, looking quickly to the ground as I shifted from foot to foot.

"Do you think that…well, do you think maybe I'll ever be normal again?"

I looked up to see Angela smile, her eyes soft behind her glasses as she nodded.

"You really want to know what I think Andy?"

I nodded.

"I think that your scared to get better." I frowned at her words, scared? "I think you feel like if you do… if you start to be yourself again, then Abigail would have been put through hell for nothing." I stiffened, was that true? I didn't know but my heart clenched in my chest at hearing it nonetheless.

Angela continued, "But you know… Don't you think she would have wanted you to be happy?"

I turned away with a frown and stared into the woods surrounding the Weber's house. Happy. The question Angela asked was the million dollar one and I didn't know the answer. Abigail was my sister in all but blood and we had been through everything, _everything_, together. My eyes watered and I wiped the tears away before they could fall, turning back to my cousin with a shuddered breath.

"I don't know how to live without her Ange…" I hated myself, I did because it was true. Abigail and I had done so much, and she had always been beside me to help me and laugh with me and when I look back at the happier times I realize just how much she'd been around. There are very few memories that are happy that don't have her in them. I swallowed as Angela's expression softened and she pulled me into a hug, I tightened my grip around her.

"You can figure it out." Angela murmured softly, "And you have my help."

I choked back a sob, pulling away to wipe at my eyes. I know without a doubt that Angela will be there with me, but I also know that she has her own issues and can't always be there. Abigail had always been there, and I flinch suddenly. I had been unknowingly comparing Abigail and Angela, it wasn't fair to anyone for me to do that. Heaving a tired sigh, I moved away and hurried into the house. Angela followed after, but at a slower pace. I could feel her eyes on my back and I sighed again.

Passing Aunt Leslie, I kept my eyes lowered to the ground and bounded up the stairs quickly. It didn't take me long to reach Angela's room and I flopped onto my bed with a groan. Burying my face in my pillow, I scrunched up into a ball with my back to the door.

_Journal,_

_Angela brought up a good point earlier today. She said that I'm afraid to be happy because it would be like Abigail had died for nothing. I don't know if that is true or not, but what I do know is that I am afraid. Afraid to leave Abigail behind? Yes. But I think I'm more afraid of living life without Abby. I don't really know how, because she has always been like my right hand. It's like when someone is amputated… they have to relearn how to do things without the missing limb and sometimes it takes them their entire lives._

_I don't want to be like that… not really, but I just… I really don't know __how__… I'm scared. Okay? I admit it._

_I told Angela about Jacob Black today. Wow, that sounds so…. Anyways, I told her what happened and she said maybe he could help. He's a teenage boy, full of hormones… how could he help? Guys, as Abs used to say, think mainly with their other head and not the one attached to their shoulders. How could he possibly be different? Jacob seems nice, there's no doubt about that but… He is still just a normal, teenage guy._

_I don't know. Jesus… what am I going to do? I have to figure myself out. You'd think that life would be easier here, away from… But it's not. It's a little harder. I miss Dad too. I haven't really talked to him since the first day here, I mean… he calls Uncle Henry and they talk, and I know Aunt Leslie has called him a few times. But – Maybe I should call him tomorrow. _

_Anyways, it'll be Tuesday tomorrow and I just hope the rest of the week goes by fast. This evening, I actually ate with the family instead of hiding away. Oh! That reminds me… I saw the __weirdest__ thing._

_Okay, so after dinner I was out on the porch with everyone right? Well, the twins were being bratty as usual and Uncle Henry was talking with Angela about… who knows what… I was sitting over by the porch swing, just kind of lost in thought __about Jacob __... Um, so I was staring at the trees and I saw this thing._

_I swear it was as big as a bear! It wasn't clear or anything, and it moved pretty fast but the thing was HUGE. I don't know what it was, but what the hell? This thing could swallow me whole and it's in our backyard?! I didn't say anything, but definitely going to have to ask about the wildlife around her tomorrow. I am NOT going outside anytime soon. Who knows if that thing will come back or not? It probably smelled the food… Uncle Henry did grill steaks after all._

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**There you are! Tried to make it longer, didn't really work... ran out of muse.**

**Review!**

**xoxo  
Jeza**


	8. It's Official Now

Official:

I apologize everyone. I know so many of you placed me on Author/Story Alert. Sadly, life is too busy for me. A lot of things have been going on in the past year, and it's only escalating. I also have lost complete interest in writing within the Twilight fandom. Or writing at all, really.

I have too much to do so…

Recovery is now officially abandoned – and up for Adoption.

If you want to take it, use it, and make your own story from it then any of you are welcome to. The only thing I ask for in return is the following:

Send me a link! :D

Please keep to the character ideas of Andrea and Abigail.

I know neither OC is fleshed out very well yet, considering we only got to…what… Chapter 6? Still, at least keep in the general idea of their personalities. If you need help, feel free to PM me – I still have my notes.

Last, but not least, Thank you all!

Good Luck!


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